I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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