so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
