I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
