So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
