No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My bed smells like the plague
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
