I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize