they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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