i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Never underestimate the power of titties
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
