Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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