Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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