Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
