when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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