I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
