Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
