I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
