just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Come on in and take your pants off
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
