I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We need a shit load of segways right now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
