eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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