I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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