Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
the liver wants what the liver wants
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
