I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
