In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my poor anus
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
