It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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