I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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