i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
