How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
