we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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