is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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