Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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