I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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