dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I look better un-naked...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
