What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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