I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
