Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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