thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Terrible idea I love it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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