sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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