I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
do herpes really smell.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
