WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
