8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
