Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
