I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I will pee on everything he values.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
