I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
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I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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