Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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