what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
