you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize