Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
