well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
