Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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