is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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