Four minutes until I can fart!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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