wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
