Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
