Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
