Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A+ Viking dick
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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