so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
my poor anus
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
