I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
