This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
