Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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