you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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