I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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